So, tomorrow is Ohana’s first showcase (Which yall should totally go to). I’ve been asked to shoot for them. While that doesn’t seem like such a big deal to most, it kind of is to me. I’ve never been approached and asked to do something like this, even though it was just friends asking for a favor. Even though I’m not getting paid, it’s kind of like a stepping stone onto doing bigger things.
Additionally, my good friend Zayn asked me to design him an album cover. Again, it’s just me doing him a solid, but it’s just a little surreal. What I did for PSST was something I signed up for, but to be asked to do something, well, that’s a different story.
I know it’s not a big deal. I know it doesn’t mean I’m a professional now. But it’s small steps toward something that I love. And it’s the beginning steps that count.
You wanna talk about honestly?
Honestly, not good. It’s not because I essentially got rejected twice for prom before I even got the chance to ask. It’s not because I feel like I failed my club. It’s not because I’m probably getting a C in APUSH. It’s because every time I think there might be the possibility that things are going to come my way it just falls right in my face. It feels like everything’s become a hopeless cause. I know it sounds petty. Like “Oh, you’re in high school who gives a fuck about your bullshit drama there’s real problems out there like starvation and poverty and global warming and people are being raped and shit.” And yes, it totally is pathetic to be complaining about this shit. But it’s not the actions that have been committed or the things that have come my way, it’s the underlying factor that none of it went how I would have liked. So, anon, if you saw me at school and asked me how I’m doing, I’d probably say I’m doing fine. Because people don’t deserve to hear me complain about bullshit. It’s totally unfair to them. But if you’re asking for the honest answer, then I’d have to say that things just aren’t so great.
If you wanted to get off anon you and I could have a long talk about how this year was kind of full of shit. Otherwise, there’s my answer, bro.